It was one of those mornings a few weeks ago where everything was going decently well…we were happy, the house hadn’t yet been wrecked by the tornado that is my son (and it was already past 8am!), and I probably only got up two times in the middle of the night as opposed to four our five. And then it happened. A moment that made time stand still and burned itself permanently…in detail…into my mind.
We had just finished breakfast – toast with peanut butter & jelly alongside some banana slices. I got Joshua out of his high chair, setting him down on the ground to go play while I took just a couple minutes to respond to an email I knew was waiting for me. I sat at the dining room table while he played contentedly a few feet away in the living room. Moments after I began typing I heard him grunt…and poop.
I decided to take two minutes to finish the email before changing his diaper…it would give him a chance to make sure he got it all out anyway! As I was typing out the last sentence or so Joshua came up next to me and handed me something – its a new skill he has been learning. I glanced over…said thank you and took it from him. He started to walk away and I turned back to the computer.
This, my friends, is when it happened.
I looked down at my hand and noticed some peanut butter on my finger. We had just finished breakfast and sometimes I can be lazy about thoroughly wiping everything off my squirmy boy’s hands.
So I licked my finger to get the peanut butter off…
IT WASN’T PEANUT BUTTER!!!!!
I looked in horror at Joshua as it dawned on me that I just tasted AND ATE my son’s POOP.
“Ahhhhh, I just ate your POOOOOOOOOOOOPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!” I cried to Joshua as I bolted up.
I ran to the sink, washing my hands and my tongue…trying to get that horrid taste from my mouth and then scooped Joshua up…noticing that his hands were, in fact, covered in poop.
I changed his diaper…one that shouldn’t have left him with poopy hands based in it’s shape, consistency and where it landed in the diaper (TMI??) and then realized that he reached inside his diaper to access the poo.
After the battle that was changing his diaper and trying, unsuccessfully, to prevent him from sticking his poop-covered fingers in his own mouth, I was terrified. Terrified of going back into the carpeted living room that my little boy was playing in when THE INCIDENT occurred.
I walked in…making sure Joshua stayed behind me to avoid further messes. Immediately I saw a wooden tray that holds puzzle blocks, on the floor, covered in poo. Whew, I thought. That’s easy to clean, sanitize and whatnot. Dodged that bullet. Then I took another step into the living room and on the other side of the recliner I saw a large poop mess, freshly rubbed into the carpet. A spot about the size of an average adult’s hand. Seriously? I guess when little man does it…he really does it. Can I just say…I am incredibly thankful for wet vacs and carpet shampoo!
Moral of this story?
Don’t EVER assume it is peanut butter.